Read part one here.
My “23 life crisis” is what I’ve infamously titled my 23rd year of life…
…because I’m not quite 25, so it’s not exactly a quarter-life crisis, but it feels exactly like one.
My wild, drunken, adventurous 23rd birthday in Atlanta (Dec. 2015) seems like it was just yesterday! It’s almost as if my birthday set the tone for 2016 as a whole. Actually, there’s no denying that it did. I spent so much of my 23-year-old life getting fucked up, kickin’ it, partying and being reckless, that I fell completely off track.
Where do I even begin? *rubs chin*
For starters, I brought 2016 in with someone I will never speak to again, got my heart sliced and burned by the same person…multiple times, continuously gave my time, energy and mental space to things and people I shouldn’t have, and spent almost every weekend at the liquor store, drinking Crown, mixing Hennessy with Hypnotiq, and screaming fuck the world.
(I drank SO much and SO often that my family seriously thought I had a problem. I didn’t drink for a while just to prove to myself that I didn’t.)
I now have a nice little collection of green apple Crown Royal bags, unexplainable scars, screenshots of drunk texts, faded memories, and thousands of sleepy-eyed photo’s that recap almost every single one of my drunk outings.
I wanted to do what I wanted to do; nothing more, nothing less.
I reached a low SO low that I was completely questioning my purpose in life. I lost my fiery, creative passion, my direction, and sadly, myself.
Things were so bad, I got to a point where even I was disappointed with myself. I knew I wasn’t supposed to have it ALL figured out, but I knew the route I was taking wasn’t going to help me figure it out anytime soon either.
Year 23 was a definite reality check.
Between my crazy life, tainted perception of love, volatile relationships, meaningless friendships, and other irrelevant emotionally draining situations, I could have avoided so much heartache and hardship had I just listened to someone.
23 was my wake-up call.
Being 23 wasn’t ALL bad. There were plenty of amazing moments to cancel out the dreadful ones. It was a valued experience, for sure.
Let’s start with my journey to self-discovery! I spent tons of time digging into who I am as an individual and learning exactly how I operate in various situations. I even mustered up the courage to explore parts of myself I was both afraid of and/or in complete denial of.
Some other great things that happened while being 23 include:
Becoming the Social Media Coordinator for Better Black News, joining the cast of On The Scene OKC web series, road tripping to Austin with my sorority sisters and taking a trip to Vegas. I didn’t get pregnant, go to jail or get a speeding ticket. My photography skills grew, I made new connections, perfected my writing and learned to love people from a distance.
Though I miraculously accomplished many of the goals I set for 2016, I also missed out on a ton of opportunities being selfish, immature and rebellious.
I’m ready for the next chapter; the obstacles, the uncomfortable growing process, my brewing success and whatever else this 24th year of life has in store.
24 is a milestone for me, not because I’m a year older, but because I’m truly a year wiser.
So, 24, what’s good?