Cutting Ties: Friends & Frenemies
I think one of the toughest lessons in life is realizing everyone wasn’t created to think, love, support and give like you. What’s even harder, is truly accepting them for who they are. It’s not their fault.
Over the past few months or so, I’ve been slowly eliminating people who “support” me, but don’t actually support me. You know?
The people who claim they want the best for you until you piss them off or surpass them in some way. “Friends” who suddenly stop liking your pictures, sharing your posts and attending your outings. Or, the ones who find something negative to say about every little thing you do.
Yes, them. Frenemies, I guess?
If you, my “friend,” can say or show me how much you DON’T support me when you’re upset with me, I don’t need you in my life. Upset or not, deep down in your heart you do NOT support me – your angry actions will forever speak VOLUMES.
There are people I didn’t necessarily want to let go of, but had to, simply because who they were failed to align with who I was striving to be. I don’t love them any less as an individual, I just refuse to allow their negativity and complacency to claim a place in my life.
So many of us sacrifice our peace of mind and sanity trying to accept the flaws in people who don’t care to change.
But, how could I possibly be upset with someone for being exactly who they are?
Well…there’s a thin line between embracing your flaws and being too stubborn to work on your flawed behavior. That same line applies to loving someone flaws and all, while sacrificing pieces of you just to love them.
I’ve put myself in so many mentally and spiritually draining situations by loving and pouring into people who were too selfish to love and pour back, or too insecure with their own lack of progress and success to genuinely accept and applaud mine.
Nobody needs people like that in their circle.
“That’s just how I am,” they say.
But no, that’s not good enough.
Internalizing your insecurities and taking them out on other people is NOT okay.
We all fall short, have issues and struggle with overcoming certain characteristics; we also ALL have the ability to change those things.
I had to learn to stop making excuses for people’s flawed behavior when it proved time and time again to be detrimental to me and the path I was creating for myself.
You don’t have to put up with anything you don’t see fit for the betterment of YOU. Period.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m striving to emerge myself in mutually nurturing and evolving friendships and relationships.
Everyone needs a good support system; a team that is genuinely rooting for you under any and all circumstances.
I never want to question the motives or genuineness of someone I consider my friend. I shouldn’t have to hold back or feel as though I’m unable to share my aspirations, goals, and ideas with my “friend” because I fear they’re secretly hoping for my downfall. That is not true friendship.
Because of situations like this, I have truly learned to love certain people from a distance. I’ve also learned to stop giving people the opportunity to pollute the positive energy I’ve worked so hard to maintain, perfect and protect.
What I’m not doing in 2017 is carrying dead weight. I’m cutting ties because sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go.