Why do we fear starting over with someone new more than we fear continuously starting over with the same person? It seems there would be a peace of some sort in knowing you’re starting with a clean slate vs. constantly wiping at stains from an old one. Should we not fear wasting time and energy with one person who can’t (or won’t) get it right? Do we not fear missing out on someone who gets it right the first time?
I pose these questions because I see so many people say they hate starting over. I agree. Starting over sucks, but does repeating the same motions not also suck, and does this repeating cycle not suck MORE?
It’s like…why subject ourselves to a pain we seemingly anticipate from a person, place or thing just because we don’t want to start over? Why force unhappiness on yourself and others, in your relationships and so on, just for the sake of history and comfortability? It’s saddening.
I mean, imagine being afraid of something better. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
I just want us to see the signs when they present themselves, take them for what they are — not for what we want them to be — and get out while we can. MOVE ON.
We need to love ourselves more than we love our situations; we should fear losing ourselves more than we fear losing the idea of someone else. Because someone who means us well can’t and won’t be lost.
There is only harm in staying in a mental and emotional space that isn’t nurturing of your needs. There’s no satisfaction in not being able to be your true self or reaching your greatest potential because you fear exploring what else might be out there.
This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, either. This concept can apply to jobs, friendships, etc.
Embrace the idea of something new and what it can offer you, rather than staying in a space that’s comfortable, but doesn’t promote good mental, emotional or spiritual health and growth. We deserve the best, and the best exists. You just have to be open and ready to receive it when it comes.
Don’t fear newness. Look forward to it.
Photo: Guilherme Stecanella.