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Single People Can’t Give Advice!

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“Single people can’t give relationship advice because they’ve failed at maintaining a successful relationship.”

Bullshit alert!

This whole “single people can’t give advice,” concept irks me to the tenth power. *screams*

People act like the art of being single is a disease, and anyone with that “disease” should just shut up and live their miserable, un-relatable, single lives. Nah.

singleness-isnt-a-disease

Shot By: @_iamyourdestiny Twitter | Instagram Model: @makaylaverae | Twitter

Being single is not equivalent to having a failed relationship, and it darn sure doesn’t make a single any more or less knowledgeable than any other individual in a relationship.

People treat us singles as if we have nothing to offer the world. As if our previous relationship experiences are null and void solely because we’re currently single. As if we’re incapable of making conscious decisions regarding the reason(s) why we’ve chosen to be single or why we’ve decided against pursuing a relationship altogether.

Because we couldn’t have possibly chosen to be single, right?

*eye roll*

Seriously, people! We have feelings too. Being single doesn’t mean we don’t know how one should be treated in a relationship, how we want one to treat us, or again, that our past experiences are invalid because of our current relationship status.

YES, there are things single people can’t relate to or give advice on, but that goes for anyone who hasn’t experienced certain things in relationships, NOT just singles. Someone who isn’t currently married or has never been married can’t really give advice to a married couple. The same applies to a person who has never been in an abusive relationship, been cheated on or attempted a long distance relationship.

It’s hard to say what you should, shouldn’t, would or wouldn’t do in a situation you’ve never been in. You wouldn’t take dental advice from someone who has no dental experience, right? I would, however, take math advice from a retired math teacher because they have prior math experience. It’s simple.

THEN, we have the people who say being single means you can’t keep a man, you’re crazy, you don’t know what you’re doing, or my favorite, that you’ve simply failed at your relationship.

Singleness does not equate to failure in relationships. Period.

Bro, people break up for reasons other than irreconcilable differences, cheating, lies, games and other bullshit, EVERY DAY!

Choosing to be single is not and will never be equivalent to a failed relationship. It doesn’t mean the people involved were unhappy or that they couldn’t make it work. No, she’s not psycho and no, he wasn’t a fuck boy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single OR taking the time to get to know yourself beyond a relationship.

Also, a relationship that leads to marriage and kids does not, by any means, equate to a successful one. It could very well be a relationship built upon infidelity and abuse. We’ve all watched those Tyler Perry movies. We know good and well, a “successful” relationship is not always a healthy or happy relationship.

Anyone who justifies this “marriage equals success” concept or way of thinking is highkey missing a few screws up top. I ain’t gon’ call yall crazy…but…(lol).

Just so we’re clear, single people CAN give advice, relationships are NOT unsuccessful because they don’t result in marriage, and a happy relationship is not always a healthy one.

Don’t let anyone discredit you, your knowledge or your experiences just because you’re single.

P.S.

Ask Destiny is back! Check it out here!

Comments

  1. FIRST of all, you bettter zoooo it in the yellow, YAS! Ahem, secondly, loved this. Because I’m single and not sick at all. I’m just super, super selective. On point post!

    • Great Blog Patty O. Loved reading about your experiences and the responses you received from others.This is better than watching the Reality programs on TV!I promise to actually contribute something from my life adventures in the future.Hugs,Me

  2. Listen this was everything, you can be single and give advice as can someone in a relationship. I think it should be equal across the board!! Great post!!

  3. Great perspective. I have not encountered anyone who told me because I am single my advice is not valid. Most times when I give advice, I give the disclaimer that it is not just for intimate relationship. We have girlfriend relationships to manage, relationships with our families. While I may be single now, some of the principles from intimate relationship can be applied to another types of relationships.

    • I totally agree! This stemmed from an argument I had with someone who told me advice was invalid because I was currently single. But yes, we can definitely apply various experiences back to different types of relationships. Thanks for reading! 😊

  4. People are so funny. Well said, all the way around! I probably gave the most advice out back when I was single, things just happen (like you said) and single is a choice…one not for the faint of heart.

  5. I love this! Funny thing is, most of my friends in relationships come to me for advice. I have always been the single friend of the bunch. Granted, I date, and I have been talking to this guy off/on for a while, but I, overall, choose to be single. I’m not entertaining a relationship that I don’t feel would lead to anywhere. You said a mouthful with this post. *Drops mic and sashays away*

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