It’s currently 2 a.m. and I’m up because I couldn’t sleep.
I went back and read some old blog posts from As Told By Destiny and realized how effortlessly amazing my writing was back then.
Not to say my writing isn’t great now, but WOW.
I talked about REAL life issues. These were things I was really, truly dealing with at the time and somehow I was still able to offer genuine advice for each situation.
Yes, I do that with my posts now, but things are just…different.
It seems as though the person I was when I was building As Told By Destiny isn’t the same girl writing for Chasing My 20s.
Life is the only thing I can seem to attribute this issue to. Life happens, situations change, and because of that, people do too.
Maybe I’ve changed…
I was speaking that real, real shit and I need that realness back ASAP.
I would love to say I didn’t care about people’s opinions of my blog back then, but that would be a lie. If anything, I cared SO much more.
After all, I was completely new to sharing my work with people I actually knew, and I wasn’t sure how my new audience would take to it.
This wasn’t me venting on Tumblr anymore. This was like the big leagues for me.
I think the issue and difference between then and now, is that I now have this superficial idea of how I want my writing, my website, and my overall persona to be perceived instead of just giving it to ya raw.
I need that rawness back; that innocence.
Those were the days when I didn’t have huge aesthetic or content-based goals for my blog. Sure, I wanted it to look nice, and I wanted people to relate to the things I was saying, but traffic, popularity, and exposure weren’t my priorities.
My priorities were expressing myself for ME, while also sending a valuable message to the silent readers who could relate and/or secretly needed it.
I wasn’t heavily influenced by hundreds of other, more established bloggers and creators. I didn’t have anything or anyone to compare myself to. It was just me and my keyboard most times.
With my current platform, I’m able to see how unbelievably hard I’ve been trying to control things that should flow freely.
What really hits home for me when I re-read those old posts, is the fact that I can STILL relate. I still feel the same way about a lot of the things I said back then.
The biggest lesson I’m learning from reconnecting with my old thoughts is that I need to take my own advice!
I need to do better, be better, require more, and seek more! Click To Tweet
There is so much more out there just waiting for me to come and get, and what am I doing? Everything except what I’ve been preaching about for the past year or so. SMH.
Yes, I’ve made some progress in the things I’ve set out to achieve, and that’s awesome, BUT when I read those old posts, I realize my character flaws, and various other things I struggled with then, still exist.
I’m declaring it a sign from God to get my act together. Why else would I be up at 2 a.m. reading super old blog posts from a blog I don’t even use anymore?
I needed that reminder.
Not to mention I’ve been asking God to blatantly show me what it is He’s trying to tell me and boom, here we are.
My mom randomly told me to read Habakkuk 2:2 Friday night, and it wasn’t until Saturday morning that the relevance of it all finally hit me!
“Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald [or so that whoever reads it] may run with it.”
For me, it means I need to take things for what they are, at face value, and write it down. I need to allow the message to be portrayed as clearly as I have both seen and written it.
Basically, stumbling across my old posts was NOT a coincidence. It was God sending me a message via the things I’ve already experienced and written about.
The way God works is so amazing.
Anywho, while I’m still journeying through learning and loving myself, I’m also taking this time to rediscover myself.
I’m discovering who I am today, reflecting on who I was back then, and praying for guidance in who I’m destined to become in the future.
It’s never too late to reflect on who you used to be and apply those same life lessons to the person you’re striving to be. We all need a subtle reminder from time to time and now that I’ve received mine, I’m ready to embrace the journey ahead.