Why do we hold onto people well past their expiration dates?
I honestly don’t have an answer to that question. And, I won’t sit behind my keyboard and pretend I’m not guilty of doing this very same thing.
But if I had to take a shot at figuring out why, I’d say it’s more so the attachment and “what-if” aspect of things that keep us hanging on more than anything else.
We don’t want to let go because we don’t want to start over with someone new. The “getting to know you” stage sucks. Let’s just be honest! No one wants to leave their comfort zone. Even if leaving means walking into something ten times better.
Then there’s the “what if things change,” or “what if things get better,” mentality. I’m sure we’ve all had this unwavering hope that our boo would get it together right before you throw the deuces.
I really hate to burst your bubble, but if things were going to change or get better, they probably would have longgg before you reached the point of deciding whether or not to walk away. And, let me add, you wouldn’t have to threaten him/her with leaving to yield this miraculous change you’ve been waiting for. Don’t feel bad, though. I, too, have given waaaay too many opportunities for change before actually being done with a person or or situation.
My biggest flaw in expired relationships is always trying to go back in time and recreate something that once was. I always want that old “thing” back. You know? Those “new boo” butterflies, laughs and quality time. The issue with that is…well, that “thing” is no more for a reason–whatever that reason may be. And, unfortunately, you gain absolutely nothing from trying to revive it.
The people in our lives have expiration dates just like our foods.
You’re not out here snacking on a hot pocket from two years ago because you want to reminisce on how good it was back then, are you? If we looked at our relationships the same way we looked at everything else with an expiration date, we’d save ourselves sooo much stress and potential heartache.
Obviously, you can’t look at a person and know when your time together will expire, but you can allow your intuition to tell you when it’s near. Trust me, we always know.
And if you’re human, most times you’ll try to hold on despite the obvious “expiration date.”
Moment Of Truth: There’s no bringing an expired item back to life, and if you are lucky enough to find a remedy to restore its “freshness,” it’s rarely ever as good as it was when you first purchased it.
I say all of this to say, let people who no longer serve a purpose in your life GO.
Stop trying to remedy something that has clearly reached its expiration date and can no longer offer your life any value. How many times will you attempt to patch up your beloved jeans before you realize it’s time to throw the whole pair away?
You don’t question getting rid of moldy milk, cheese or bread so why question your moldy relationship(s)?
As cliche as it seems, everything truly happens for a reason. Everyone we meet won’t last a lifetime–sometimes it’s just a season.
I ran across this devotional from my Bible app a few months ago:
Many times we cry out to God to save us from our situations, but truthfully, we want the saving on our terms and not His, which breeds disappointment, and that causes us to look back. If only we could come to a place in our lives where we believe God’s plan is better than ours.
Let things expire. Nothing good will come from holding onto something that can no longer benefit your current season of life. We were made to move forward, so it’s time to stop looking back.