Why do we hold onto people and things that have proven to be bad for us?
I honestly don’t have an answer to that question. And, I won’t sit behind my keyboard and pretend I’m not guilty of doing this very same thing.
But if I had to take a shot at figuring out why…I’d say it’s more-so the attachment and “what-if” aspect of things that keep us hanging on more than anything else.
We don’t want to let go because we don’t want to start over with someone new. The “getting to know you” stage sucks. Let’s just face it. No one wants to leave their comfort zone! Even if leaving means walking into something ten times better. Then there’s the, “what if things change,” or, “what if things get better,” mentality. I’m sure we’ve all had this unwavering hope that our boo would get it together right before you throw him the deuces.
I really hate to burst your bubble, sis…but if things were going to change or get better, they probably would have longgg before you reached the point of deciding whether or not to walk away. And let me add, you wouldn’t have to threaten him with leaving to yield this change you’ve been waiting for. Don’t feel bad, girl. I, too, give waaaay too many opportunities for change before I’m really, actually done with a certain someone or situation.
My biggest flaw in expired relationships is always trying to go back in time and recreate something that once was. I always want that old “thing” back. You know? Those “new boo” butterflies, laughs and quality time. The issue with that is…well, that “thing” is no more for a reason – whatever that reason may be. And unfortunately, you gain absolutely nothing from trying to revive it.
The people in our lives have expiration dates just like our food. You’re not out here snacking on a hot pocket from two years ago because you want to reminisce on how good it was back then, are you? I hope not. If we looked at our relationships the same way we looked at everything else with an expiration date, we’d save ourselves sooo much stress and potential heartache.
Obviously, you can’t look at a person and know when your time together will expire, but you can allow your intuition to tell you when it has because trust me…we always know. Most of the time we feel it coming.
And if you’re human, most times you try to hold on despite the obvious “expiration dates.”
Moment Of Truth: There’s no bringing an expired item back to life, and if you are lucky enough to find a remedy to restore its “freshness,” it’s rarely ever as good as it was when you first purchased it.
I say all of this to say, let people who no longer serve a purpose in your life GO.
Stop trying to remedy something that has clearly reached its expiration date and can longer offer your life any value. How many times will you attempt to patch up your beloved college hoodie before you realize you just need to throw the whole hoodie away?
You don’t question getting rid of moldy milk, cheese or bread so why question your moldy relationship(s)?
As cliche as it seems, everything truly happens for a reason. Everyone we meet won’t last a lifetime…sometimes it’s just for a season.
I ran across this devotional from my Bible app a few months ago and it fit the message of this post so I figured I’d include it.
Many times we cry out to God to save us from our situations, but truthfully, we want the saving on our terms and not His, which breeds disappointment, and that causes us to look back. If only we could come to a place in our lives where we believe God’s plan is better than ours.
Let things expire. Nothing good will come from holding onto something that can no longer benefit this season of your life. We were made to move forward so it’s time to stop looking back.