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February | Chasing My 20s |

Ever had to forgive someone who’s never even apologized?

If you follow me on social media, you’re already aware that my focus word for the month of February is FORGIVENESS. If you’ve been following me since As Told By Destiny, you’ll know I’ve been going back and forth with forgiving people who have hurt me, both knowingly and unknowingly, for the past two years or so.

Sometimes I truly think I’ve forgiven people…only to be reminded that I haven’t.

I was reading a devotional on the Bible App last night and it said this:

Forgiveness isn’t endorsement and it certainly isn’t accompanied by warm, fuzzy feelings. Forgiveness is a choice we make. Forgiveness is setting someone free, and realizing the prisoner was you. At first I forgave out of obedience; but when I finally forgave, I realized that I was the one being held captive by my unforgivness.

Fumbling across this message was pretty much confirmation for the thoughts I’ve been having.

It’s not easy to forgive someone who hasn’t thought twice about what they’ve done, however, it is still very necessary.

Moving forward requires you to release and BE released. For me, that means releasing myself from this “prison” of hurt and betrayal I’ve subconsciously internalized. I no longer want to be held captive by my unforgiveness. I also pray and ask to be released from whomever I’m tied to in whatever way that may be.

Forgive, but don’t forget.

People often associate forgiveness with forgetting, but that’s the one thing you cannot do. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting what they did to hurt you by ANY means.

To forget is to set yourself up to be hurt, betrayed or disappointed all over again. If anything, the key to moving on from something is to remember WHY you’re moving on.

We forgive, forget, and jump right back into the same situation. After we get hurt again, we suddenly remember why we left the first time.

Skip that step. Never Forget. Shuffle, don’t repeat.


  1. I can identify with this soooo much. Forgiveness is more about you than it is about the other person. And when I find myself being stubborn, I think about all the times God has forgiven and continues to forgive me. And when I put it in that perspective…who am I NOT to forgive someone else? Thanks for this reminder!

  2. This. I have been struggling to forgive a friend of mine lately, and I appreciated what you had to say in regards to acknowledging that a wrong was done, but you can still forgive without forgetting and setting yourself up for failure again. Thanks so much for sharing!

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