The Valentine’s Day Blues…is totally a thing.
I felt compelled to write this because being alone on Valentine’s Day isn’t easy for everyone. It wasn’t always easy for me either.
Valentine’s Day has always been so heavily reliant upon exchanging material things that supposedly serve as a determining factor of one’s love and appreciation for their significant other or potential boo. It’s the time of year when you find out where you truly stand with a person. Did you make the cut for his or her Instagram page or did you get cut? It’s also the one day of the year society makes you feel completely unworthy if you DON’T have someone to shower you with (mostly meaningless) gifts.
That’s the part I’ve grown to hate the most — the part where you’re outcasted and treated as though you’re obsolete simply because you’re spending the day alone. Ya know, because it couldn’t possibly be by choice, right?
It’s bullshit. One day of the year cannot, should not, and does not determine your self-worth or value. Being single or alone doesn’t either.
I’ll say it again for the folks in the back.
Being single or alone on Valentine’s Day does not determine your self-worth or value — period.
Year after year I would continue to waste time with guys I didn’t care about just to be able to say I had a valentine. Just to look and feel wanted or valued by someone who didn’t. And truthfully, I didn’t care if they did or not as long as it LOOKED like I had something or someone special to spend money on me.
Yes, I was a selfish, shallow bitch. I can own that.
I typically wanted nothing more than free food and a nice gift. It just wasn’t that deep. But then there were times when it absolutely was “that deep.” Much deeper than being showered with gifts by a guy I would eventually drop.
That was when I realized that maybe I had a problem. Did I really need a man to validate my worth on Valentine’s Day? #QTNA.
I didn’t care about the majority of the guys I had buying me gifts. Like I said, I just wanted to portray and feel something that didn’t actually exist. (Orrr…also take advantage of free gifts and food lol). Sometimes I just wanted to see if I still had that “it” factor. My finesse game was very strong. It was a satisfying stroke to my ego.
Let’s all thank God for growth! 2018 is the year I can finally say I’d much rather be alone, happy, and content, than to be pretending I’m happily in a relationship where I’m only appreciated one out of 365 days — and even that’s a boost.
Because let’s be honest, everything that glitters ain’t gold.
I’m clearly living proof of that. lol.
This Valentine’s Day I am one hundred percent okay with not having multiple guys on call. I am completely content with loving no one else but myself on this day of love. And, I can honestly say I haven’t felt any ill feelings towards the “holiday” so many people love to hate.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the idea that you NEED to have someone to make you feel important on this one day if no other day of the year. You don’t. From the overdone social media posts to the play-by-plays on Snapchat — it’s all a boost.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a negative experience because you’re single, alone, or feeling unappreciated. Don’t allow societal “norms” to alter the way you love and view yourself because of an overrated holiday that ultimately proves and means nothing.
Although V-Day is over, I still wanted to get this out for anyone dealing with the aftershock of spending the day or upcoming weekend alone. You are still loved, valued and appreciated — if not by YOU, then by someone — a holiday, gifts, or a significant other does not determine how much.
Love, Destiny. <3