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365 days ago…

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“Oh my God. It says pregnant.”

It was on this day, May 7th, 2017, that I sat at Toby Keith’s restaurant with my family celebrating my aunt’s birthday.

Unbeknownst to me, this day would change my life forever.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with my body besides the fact that I had just recently decided to take a shot at being vegetarian a few months earlier.

I remember ordering a grilled cheese and fries from the kid’s menu because they didn’t have any other vegetarian-friendly options to choose from; I also ordered a frozen margarita.

I hadn’t eaten all day, so I didn’t really have an appetite. Knowing that, I didn’t think anything of it. I don’t remember if I finished my drink, but I do remember giving my food to my little cousins.

So, I hit up my friend Devon and we went to eat a little later at a place called Louies. I had a lot going on at the time and needed to vent and get a lot of shit off my chest. I ended up getting a black bean wrap or something like that and fries with honey mustard dipping sauce.

The whole restaurant smelled so bad, but only to me. My food came and I still had no appetite, but now it was worse because the smell of the food was bothering me too.

I went home thinking maybe I had gotten a bad margarita after not eating all day, and that’s why I was feeling off. It kind of made sense, ya know?

So now it’s Monday, May 8th, 2017, and I’m at work trying to keep it together because every little scent is making my stomach turn. I send a text to my mom telling her I’m sooo sick and everything smells SO bad and how I think I have food poisoning. I honestly don’t remember her response, but I had basically given myself away at that point and didn’t even know it.

Anyway, I went to lunch and could only manage to eat Chick-Fil-A’s fries. I talked to my best friend about everything that had happened over the last few months and she basically told me everything I was telling her was almost identical to her finding out she was pregnant a couple of years ago.

Who wants to hear that when they’re not trying to get pregnant?

She tells me to take a test once I get off. Like everyone, I buy the cheap Wal-Mart version first. The lines show up almost instantly. I send a picture to the dad-to-be and then tell him I’m going to get another.

I go back to Wal-Mart and get a ClearBlue Digital test. This way, it clearly says PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT and there’s no deciphering lines and whatnot.

I take the test again, wait, and the word PREGNANT pops up clear as day.

“Oh my God. It says pregnant,” I say to my best friend, who was sitting on the phone with me.

I send the dad-to-be the picture of the new test and he responds immediately.

At this point, I’m numb. I don’t feel anything at all. I don’t even cry.

I guess you could say I didn’t really know what or how to feel. I mean, what was there to cry about?

I ended our call, showered, wrapped the tests up in a Wal-Mart bag and got in the bed.

It’s funny how life works. A week earlier I had posted on Facebook about how much I didn’t want kids…just to find out I’d have one of my very own a week later.

This was the absolute last thing I ever expected to happen to me, yet here I was wrapping my head around the idea of being someone’s mother.



  1. Life just knows how to get us at every turn but no matter what, God finds a way to bring joy to us even when we don’t even know who what when where or why lol. Love this post, Muva!

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