A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post called, “Single Mom Shame,” highlighting the negative feelings I had about being a single mom. Not just a single mom, but an unwed mom, and just not being happy with my circumstances at the moment.
I’ve since had time to reflect on those thoughts and I have absolutely no reason to feel shameful for choosing my baby’s life over my own, or even over society and what is deemed “right” and “wrong” or “socially acceptable.” *eye roll*
Becoming a mom has been such a trying, but equally rewarding journey and I am so thankful God chose me to foster one of his many angels. Because, who knows where I’d truly be right now if Zoe hadn’t come along.
I know it’s super cliche of me to say this, but Zoe truly saved me from myself. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes, too, but it’s true. I was on a bumpy downward spiral — drinking like crazy, partying and just…genuinely trying to navigate my early twenties and all of its newfound freedom.
I get so emotional thinking about the possibility of never experiencing this moment. I regret just the mere thought of choosing myself over her. I would have never been able to live with myself.
But for real, yall. This is life, and Zoe joining my journey doesn’t stop the show. It just makes everything a little more interesting. Knowing I can do no wrong is her eyes is so fulfilling. And, knowing that if I don’t matter to anyone else, I one hundred percent matter to her — that is literally all I need.