Life has truly been an emotional rollercoaster lately.
A lot of times I want to come to my blog and share my true, raw thoughts, but I no longer feel like this is my safe place. It feels like a place I have to get all dressed up for in order to make an appearance. Before, it felt like a place I could be myself and not fear any judgment.
I want that back. I’m just not sure if I want to bring that here. I recently returned to my Tumblr account and have been able to vent and release like the old days. It feels amazing, truly, to have a judgement-free zone where I can say what I want and know no one has any ill intentions when reading my thoughts.
And, that isn’t to say people who read my blog currently have ill intentions, but it’s just not the same.
It’s like here I have an image to upkeep. I have to be a certain Destiny, but I can’t be every bit of Destiny. It seems like I can only be “happy” Destiny here, or Destiny who has wisdom to share, but not the Destiny who’s currently walking through a thunderstorm as my tears mix with the rain and no one can tell the difference.
Lol…see. I’m sure that statement alone made someone uncomfortable. And, the thought of that makes me uncomfortable with sharing it.
*shrugs* Idunno. I’m just tired of pretending like I’m not going through a lot of mental and emotional battles just for the sake of up-keeping this image…I’m human too.