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Friends or Frenemies?

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FriendsOne of the toughest lessons in life is realizing everyone isn’t going to think, love, support or operate like you.

I’m sure we’ve all been surrounded by friends who “support” us, but didn’t actually support us.

You know.

Those friends who claim they want the best for you until you piss them off or surpass them in some way. “Friends” who suddenly stop liking your pictures, sharing your posts and attending your outings. Or, the ones who find something negative and undercutting to say about every little thing you do.

Yes, them. Frenemies.

Fren·e·my (n): a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.

We all have “friends” we don’t necessarily want to let go of, but have to, simply because they fail to align with who we’re striving to be. And, it doesn’t mean you love them any less as an individual. However, there comes a time when you have to draw the line on the negativity and complacency you allow to claim a space in your life.

So many of us sacrifice our peace of mind and sanity trying to accept the flaws in people who don’t care to change.

There’s a thin line between embracing your flaws and being too “stubborn” to work on your flawed behavior. That same line applies to loving someone flaws and all while sacrificing pieces of you just to love them.

Have you put yourself in mentally and spiritually draining situations by loving and pouring into people who are too selfish to love and pour back? Or, too insecure with their lack of progress and success to genuinely accept and applaud yours?

Nobody needs friends like that in their circle. “That’s just how I am,” they say. But no, that’s not good enough. Internalizing insecurities and projecting them onto other people is NOT okay.

We all fall short, have issues and struggle with overcoming certain characteristics. We also ALL have the ability to change those things.

Stop making excuses for people’s flawed behavior when they’ve proven time and time again to be detrimental. 

You don’t have to put up with anything you don’t see fit for the betterment of YOU. Strive to emerge yourself in mutually nurturing and evolving friendships and relationships. Everyone needs a good support system; a team that is genuinely rooting for you under any and all circumstances.

You never want to question the motives or genuineness of someone you consider a friend. You shouldn’t have to hold back or feel as though you’re unable to share your aspirations, goals and ideas with a “friend” because you fear they’re secretly hoping for your downfall. That is not true friendship.

Because of situations like this, I’ve forced myself to love certain people from a distance. I’ve also learned to stop giving people the opportunity to pollute the positive energy I’ve worked so hard to maintain, perfect and protect.

What we are not doing from here on out is carrying dead weight. Cut ties, sis, because most times holding on does more damage than letting go.

Have you recognized disingenuous behavior within your friend group or had to cut some secretly envious folks off? Let’s chat about it below.

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